Queue here for enlightenment...

Have you ever pissed next to a Buddhist monk in full robes? Well, I have today. It was one of the more surreal moments of my life, and let's face it, there've been quite a few. It wasn't His Holiness, I hasten to add!

I think I will concentrate today on conveying my impressions of the event itself rather than much of the teachings. The teachings are complex; even to someone like me who is familiar with some basic Buddhist thinking. But make no mistake. This is not Buddhism for beginners. This is not spirituality 'light'. This is HH The Dalai Lama, one of the foremost spiritual authorities alive in the world today; teaching. It can be hard to follow. I am trying my best. Mostly, it feels like such a privilige to be in the same space as someone like him. During the first few hours in the morning I had to occasionally fight back tears because I was overwhelmed simply by being there. But I was worried it might look as if I was having some sort of breakdown, so I didn't cry!

He is in person just as we know him from the media, a bit like a naughty child, and humble, but also familiar with Buddhist concepts in the most breathtaking fashion.

At one point he said about himself: I am a lazy person. If the Dalai Lama is lazy then there's no hope for the rest of us. He is 70 years old and travels the world all year round to teach. Oh, and there is the small matter of leading a government in exile.

Anyway, let's talk some more about the event. Who knew the Germans couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery, eh?? The thing is organised so badly there would have been a riot if it had been anyone other than the Dalai Lama. First, you had to queue to exchange your ticket for another ticket (?????). Then you queued somewhere else to get the teaching materials. Then queued to get the headphones for the translation...then there was a HUGE one to get inside the stadium. You were not allowed to take any water or food or tea or ANYTHING into the venue. I'm surprised they didn't strip us all naked! At lunchtime there were 3 hot food outlets trying to serve lunch to...wait for it...7000 people!!! Luckily we got there in time to be served some cold noodles...oh, and the toilets in the stadium were closed and you could only use portaloos...you get the picture? Which of course means you hardly drink for the rest of the day for fear of having to go again, which is just as well, as you are not really allowed to drink anyway. Oh, did I mention that the Germans don't understand the concept of standing in line very well?

So you are there amongst all this chaos and you try very hard to be all chilled out about it and all 'spiritual', blah blah blah, when really you just want to scream and punch someone (the organisers preferably. Though they are a charity and that would be wrong.)

So it's just as well that once inside you are faced with one of the most peaceful men in the world, who almost magically counteracts all this with a cheeky, serene smile.

Let me briefly cover a few teaching points which I have already managed to digest:

1. Increasing your self-confidence and inner strength leads to a reduction of fear (within yourself and in the world).

2. He made a point of advising that people should ideally stay within the religious traditions of their own background, as these cultures are formed over long periods of time and you are likely to be able to connect to the teachings more easily. I thought this was an interesting and challenging point about urging people in the West to try and re-connect to their own traditions.

3. If you do then still feel that Buddhism is for you he urges you to enter into the essence of it and to not stay at the superficial level. He gave an example of Western Zen Buddhists ending up living in a house that's all done up in a Japanese style. This is not necessary, he said, and chuckled.

That's it for now, I might blog again later tonight, but now I'm having a quick nap and then am heading out for some proper food!